Last Sunday Isaac and I both happened to be asked to give talks on the same week. Here’s the talk Isaac wrote. (It’s fun, now that the younger boys aren’t so little, they don’t really ask us for help with writing their talks anymore. So we go into the children’s class and get to listen for the first time to the talks they wrote on their own).
And here’s the talk that I wrote:
Prayer
In his talk, ‘The Lifeline of Prayer,’ President James E. Faust said, “I have learned from countless personal experiences that great is the power of prayer. No earthly authority can separate us from direct access to our Creator. There can never be a mechanical or electronic failure when we pray. There is no limit on the number of times or how long we can pray each day. There is no quota of how many needs we wish to pray for in each prayer. We do not need to go through secretaries or make an appointment to reach the throne of grace. He is reachable at any time and any place.”
President Faust went on to say, “When God placed man on the earth, prayer became the lifeline between mankind and God. . . . Through all generations since that time, prayer has filled a very important human need. Each of us has problems that we cannot solve and weaknesses that we cannot conquer without reaching out through prayer to a higher source of strength. That source is the God of heaven to whom we pray in the name of Jesus Christ.”
“What is prayer?” He explained, “First, prayer is a humble acknowledgment that God is our Father and that the Lord Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer. Second, it is a sincere confession of sin and transgression and a request for forgiveness. Third, it is recognition that we need help beyond our own ability. Fourth, it is an opportunity to express thanksgiving and gratitude to our Creator.”
President Faust also explained that “Prayers vary in their intensity. . . . Some are simple expressions of appreciation and requests for a continuation of blessings . . . However, in times of great personal hurt or need, more may be required than mere asking. The Lord said, ‘You have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.’ Blessings sought through prayer sometimes require work, effort, and diligence on our part. For example, at times fasting is appropriate as a strong evidence of our sincerity. . . . When we fast we humble our souls, which brings us more in tune with God and His holy purposes.” [close quote].
When I was recently at the temple with my husband and my older boys, the temple recorder spoke to us for a few minutes as he gave a brief devotional. He told us that when we have important decisions to make in our lives, we can pray about these things, and then we can go to the temple. He told us that when we are at the temple performing ordinances for others, we can expect not only to bless those for whom we are doing the ordinances, but we can also expect blessings ourselves: specifically that we can expect to receive answers to our prayers about the important decisions in our lives that we have been praying about.
No matter what stage we are currently at in each of our lives, we all have important decisions to make. Some of these important life questions may include:
- What can I do to strengthen my testimony?
- What can I do to help my family members be closer to each other?
- What classes should I take in high school?
- When is the best time to get my patriarchal blessing?
- Should I go on a mission?
- Should I do a year of college first, or go on a mission right after high school?
- Which college should I attend?
- Which job offer should I accept?
- Who should I marry?
- Should my spouse and I start having children yet?
- Should we buy this house?
- Is it the right time for us to add another child to our family?
- How many children should we have?
- Should we accept a new job and move to a new place?
- What can we do to help our children with their struggles?
- Is now the time for my spouse and me to consider serving a mission?
- What can I do to help my aging parent or grandparent?
When I was a teenager I learned a powerful pattern of prayer to receive answers to my important questions through personal revelation & to learn to accept God’s will for me. I have followed this pattern throughout my life, and it’s been a great benefit and given me peace throughout the years:
In Doctrine and Covenants chapter 9, verses 7 through 9, the Lord basically gives us step by step instructions for how to ask God for answers to our prayers:
Doctrine and Covenants chapter 9 verse 7 says, “Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.” So we see that you don’t just ask God to answer your questions or solve your problems for you without any effort on your part. We can make an effort by spending time in sincere prayer, fasting, and going to the temple.
Verse 8 says: “But behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind . . .” So you need to ponder your question, take time to think about it, and decide what you think the best answer would be.
Verse 8 continues, “. . . then you must ask me if it be right, . . .” So once you have pondered your question and decided on the answer you think would be best, then you need to sincerely pray to see if the decision you made is God’s will for you — and this part is key — you need to sincerely be willing to follow God’s will for you, even if it is different than your own.
Verse 8 goes on to say, “. . . and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.” So if it is the right decision for you, you will feel the Spirit confirm it to you: by a warm feeling in your heart, a positive feeling, or a feeling of peace about the decision.
And lastly, Verse 9 says, “But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong . . .” So if the decision you came to isn’t the best decision for you, the Spirit will let you know this: by a lack of positive feelings about the decision, or a feeling that it just isn’t the right decision for you.
I have used these scripture verses as a pattern to follow when making important decisions in my life, and have always been able to move forward with confidence in those decisions. But a few years ago I was thinking about this, and about the most important decisions that I had made for me and for my family — which college to go to, when to have children, which jobs my husband should take and where our family should move, etc. And all of a sudden I realizing that in all these past major questions that I could think of, I had made a decision and then taken it to the Lord and felt a confirmation of the decision. I second guessed myself a little, wondering how likely it was that the answer had so often been “yes” to so many of my biggest decisions. But then I remembered an instance of taking a decision to the Lord and receiving a “no” answer: when we first moved back to San Diego my parents kindly let us move into their house with all 5 of our kids and stay with them as we saved up for a down payment on our own house. As we were starting to get ready to buy a house in San Diego, we happened to go see a home in our current neighborhood which was a nice house, and it was an attached house (so it had one wall that was shared with the neighboring house). The house & yard were big enough for our family, and it was in a good location, and best of all — because it was an attached house it was a little less expensive than some other comparable houses, meaning we could potentially be in a position financially to move in sooner. I went and saw the house, and because of the housing market at that time we knew that we needed to make an offer on that house that day if we were interested in it. Michael didn’t have a chance to go see the house, but he was ok with making an offer on it if I felt like it would be good. We decided to take a few hours to think and pray about the decision — while I was at home and Michael was at work that afternoon. As I thought about it throughout the evening, I was excited about the possibility of getting moved into a new home, and the fact that it seemed like a good deal. But that evening when Michael and I sat down to make a final decision, I told him I just didn’t have any feeling about it at all — not that I had a bad feeling about that house. I didn’t know any reason why, but I just didn’t feel like we should make on offer on that house. That is what it’s talking about in D&C 9:9, when it says “stupor of thought.” I’m sure that that house would have worked out ok for our family, but it turned out that the better decision was for us to be patient, wait & save our money a little longer, and move into a house that was on a quieter street and ended up being a good place for our family for several years.
I also think that it’s important to remember that many of our big decisions in life may not always be deciding between something that is “right” and a “wrong.” It may be deciding between two good things that could both potentially turn out to be positive, but if we make an effort to ask God and to follow His will for us, He won’t just stay silent and let us make the “wrong” decision. Now, does that mean that if we try to follow God’s will, then we will always make decisions in our lives that will lead us to ease & happiness? Or does that mean that if we look back on our past decisions and see that some of them led to trials and difficult times, that means that we were not following God’s will at the time? No. Sometimes God knows that the best thing for us is to go through difficult trials so that we can learn to rely more on Him, and we can grow spiritually in our lives by overcoming difficulties. But as we go through these tough times we can take comfort in the fact that Heavenly Father knows we are prepared to grow more, and that the trials we experience will not be wasted.
Elder Richard G. Scott explained, “Now may I share some suggestions with you who face . . . the testing that a wise Heavenly Father determines is needed even when you are living a worthy, righteous life and are obedient to His commandments. Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.” Elder Scott referenced Proverbs chapter 3, verses 11 through 12: “My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”
And Elder Orson F. Whitney said, “No pain we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”
Although it is often hard for us to focus on the eventual benefits at the time as we are going through trials, we can often look back over past experiences in our lives and see how we came out better in the end after making it through the toughest times in our lives. As we review our past experiences we can often see more clearly the hand of God in our lives over the years, and develop an appreciation and deeper love for Him. Learning to pray for personal revelation and do our best to follow God’s will for us can be comforting and give us a feeling of peace that we are not alone and there is a a greater purpose for each of our lives. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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